crazier than a fish wearing a hat.

“Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?”
-Tom Cruise, as Jerry Maguire

Devin Hester = True Nig

via Taylor @ Cardrunners.

'he's in an affluent suburb btw.'

BoSox win the AL East

Jason should be posting this.

"I love Boston, and I will pitch game two against the Angels next Sunday!"
- Daisuke Matsuzaka

My number one man Daisuke Matsuzaka pouring champagne on Josh Beckett

White Primetime.


The next great white hope?




Great article from the AAS. VY will be here this weekend at the KSU with the rest of his Titans posse. Nice.


Such a cool work-space concept:

"Jelly is casual coworking. We invite people to work from our home for the day. We provide chairs and sofas, wireless internet, and interesting people to talk to, collaborate with, and bounce ideas off of." via

Not to mention it involves every notable b-level internet (photography, design, etc.) superstar in Brooklyn.

What is Jelly? from Amit Gupta on Vimeo.

Prochaine Merde de Niveau

You'd think a jap made this wacky shit, but you'd be wrong.

this guy > dice-k

who needs a gyro ball?

Quick Texas v. Rice Recap

Texas v. Rice


No Greg Davis haterade this weekend, though it's pretty hard to run a conservative offense when playing against a Rice defense.

I only saw the flanker screen once, and it wasn't until the 3rd quarter. Colt threw the ball straight into the ground.

Chiles has speed. He can really switch up the pace of the game. We might get to see some more of him this weekend against Kansas State. I don't really know what kind of package we saw when Chiles came in the first half. Chiles in shotgun formation, and Colt lined up wide left. I was expecting some real crazy trickery, but instead Chiles just ran a zone-read.

Jamaal Charles needs to fix the fumbling.

Billy Pittman is back. All I can say is, "Mike who?!? Nate Jones!" Pittman had 0 receptions.


Even though he sucks at being a linebacker, Killebrew could probably make a career in cooking.

Damn, Norton, Muckleroy, and Kindle tore it up. I really don't see why Akina and MacDuff are holding off on this.

Frank Okam and Derek Lokey eat O-linemen for breakfast.

Deon Beasley looked shaky in his first start.


How worried are you about OU?

The KSU game is huge this week, as it opens up our Big12 conference play. Hopefully, we'll get some revenge from last year's upset in Manhattan.


Cooked up something quick for you guys. Am I better than Jason at Photoshop? Talent is hard to judge...

Oh yeah, VY > jesus.

Brags and Beats vol 1.

Brag: Cowboys spanked the mighy Chicago Bears last night. Even Roy Williams got an interception! And he doesn't even know that tackling requires using hands. Devin Hester is a little bitch. He talked all that shit about us being pussies for thinking about not kicking to him. Somebody should tell him he needs to catch the ball first to return it.

Beat: I don't like how I'm reading all this nonsense by sports writers all over claiming how it's not all Rex Grossman's fault. After these same schmucks hate on that dumbass all last year, they realize they can't(?) regurgitate the same bullshit article every week. So they decide to be the rebel and claim he's not the only to blame.

No shit.

It's a team sport so he's never the only one to blame. But when he throws 3 interceptions against our secondary, the Dennis Quaid guy should start. It'll be just like that movie where Dennis Quaid is some old piece of shit that gets his chance to play in the spotlight. Only I'm pretty sure in the movie, it doesn't end with Demarcus Ware ripping his face off.

Brag: Winning monie$$$

Beat: Losing monie$$$$$$

Beat: new Jay-Z song is utter shit.

Brag: Indian Bread from the gaysian food cart on campus. $1.50 for pretty filling meal/between-meal. Pretty sure there's nothing really Indian about it.

Beat: hearing the gaysian at the food cart singing along to Fergie's 'Big Girls Don't Cry'.

Beat: big girls in general.

Feel free to add on or use the same concept.


Around the 4th, I would've started to pray too.

Go Boys.

Football Games We Want to Talk About Preview, Vol. 1, #1

I'll let the other writers add to this throughout the weekend, but these are the things I'll be lookout for:

College Football
Texas v. Rice

I really don't see the 'Horns messing this one up. Really, I'm just going to the game so I can dress up in burnt orange, yell, "TEXAS FIGHT" and sing the fight song a bunch of times. Maybe, just maybe we'll see some young talent on the field.


not really worried about this game...but i wasnt worried about asu or ucf either. need to see younger players, so on and so forth (you've read sam bitch about this stuff already).


I didn't bring any UT shirts down from home so I probably won't go.


Michigan State v. Notre Dame

After ND loses this game, the ESPN will still be talking about this 'powerhouse' program that hasn't really been a contender in college football since the Lou Holtz days. I would love to see Notre Dame finish their season 3-9, with their only wins coming from Navy, Duke, and Boston College. Air Force is good enough to beat TCU, so probably good enough to beat Notre Dame. Yes, I know Boston College beat Georgia Tech, who crapped on ND, but I can always hope right?

Some quick stats on this awesome Fighting Irish team:

Points scored per game: 4.3 points (120th out of 117)
Total Offense per game: 115 yards (120th out of 117)
Points allowed per game: 34 points (100th out of 117)
Cheeseburger Charlie's Salary: $3.3 Million

So why does a team this shitty get so much media coverage?

And about Michigan State...yeah, I guess they're alright.


wouldn't it be funny if notre dame started 0-8? look at their next five games:

Mich St
09/29at Purdue
10/06at UCLA
10/13#14 BC
10/20#1 USC

i honestly don't think it'll happen, but it's entirely possible. just throwin that bit out there.


Notre Dame is such a cracka-ass school. I have strong suspicion that Charlie Weis is a fan of the term 'nigger boy'.



Sunday Night Primetime: Cowboys v. da Bears

what should have been one of last year's nfc divisional playoff games. i still maintain that we did the colts a favor by losing to the seahawks. had the bobble not happened, we would have beat the seahawks and the bears (with demarcus racking up about 6.5 sacks in this hypothetical game), lost to the saints, and the saints and america would have won the superbowl.

all we need is a little push up front, and grossman is toast (easier said than done). maybe jj can turn up the heat again like our last game against the bears, where he racked up 150 yards and two tds. it'll be fun to see what our gunslinging offense can do against their vaunted defense.

21-13, cowboys.

this is ourrrr countryyyyy.


I bet Brian Urlacher fucking hates Rex Grossman. Because he can't do anything even against a secondary like ours.


Monday Night Football: Titan v. Saints

Anyone who cares about the NFC is probably sick of hearing about the Saints. Yes, while having something to play for (see Hurricane Katrina) is nice, a mediocre defense and an over-hyped offense will only carry you so far (0-2 record).

I'm not even going to break down this game.

I hate those damn commercials with Reggie Bush walking around the city of New Orleans.


it's a high scoring game. the saints offense has finally awakened from it's slumber. drew brees and his birthmark are threading passes to marques colston and reggie bush, who then proceed to tear the secondary apart. deuce mcallister is finally getting more carries, and seems to be back to his old form. the titans defense is helpless. luckily, the saints defense is equally as porous, and the young running back tandem of vince young, lendale white, and chris brown quickly take advantage (just kidding, he uses his arm somtimes too). it's simply turned into a game of who can outscore who, but with the saints' more efficient offense, they've taken the lead late in the game. in the final minute and a half, on what looks like the game's final possession, michael griffin makes an outstanding kick return, taking the ball to the titan 40. like clockwork, vince directs his offense like a maestro conducting his orchestra. quick slant to the 45. short out route to the saint's 49. a try deep, no good. a sly screen pass goes for 13 yards. vy scrambles and jukes for a nine yard gain and dashes out of bounds! on the ensuing play, both receivers run a fly pattern, opening up the middle for trusty TE bo scaife, all the way down to the 11. but with no timeouts left, vince hurries his team down the field, 14...13...12..., calls a familiar play, lines up 5 yards behind center, 8...7...6..., a quick look, defense shows blitz, 3...2..., vince starts moving his fingers, grins, 1.........HIKE!

"...and vince young does it again!!!!"

41-38, titans.


(especially you longhorn fans out there.)


VY > reggie fag.


I was pissed off twice today.

I was pissed off twice today:

Incident number one.

I was at ENS (Electrical Engineering Dungeon) working on my resumé in the computer lab. After I was satisfied with a rough draft, I printed it out. I walked over to the printer to grab it, and by the time I walked back to my computer, there was a goofy-ass Asian engineer sitting there. He already logged me out and moved all my stuff aside. Then he looks at me and in that annoying FOB accent he asks, "Can I help you with something?"

Okay, who does that? Seriously, I was working on something, and this asshole decides he couldn't wait for me to finish my work. Logs me out, and touches my stuff.

I was so pissed off. So I ripped his glasses off his head and threw it across the room. Then I grabbed his greasy head, smashed it through the LCD monitor and took his Microelectronic Circuits book and beat him repeatedly with it. After I was sure he was dead, I peed on him, and told him he sucked and walked out.

Incident number two.

I was standing at Dean Keaton and Speedway waiting for the West Campus bus and listening to some Kanye West on the iPod. All of a sudden, I feel this tap on my shoulder. I turned and looked and this was this blond chick who just stared at me. I took off my headphones, and I said, "Sup, bitch?" To which she replied, "Yeah, excuse me, you're in my way."

Okay, the sidewalk is at LEAST two yards wide. I was standing close to one end, she could have easily walked around me.

I was so pissed off. So I belted her in the stomach, and kneed her in the head as she was bent over. Then I straddled her and threw some 'bows at her head UFC style. Needless to say, she bled profusely. I peed on her, told her she sucked, jumped on the West Campus bus and went home.

"The pre-zamboni dayz."

So Thirsty...(Get It? We're in a Drought!!!)

not that jason has anything to complain about...the last time the rangers went to the playoffs, i was 12. in fact, ever since the stars' kick ass triple overtime win over the buffalo sabres, dallas has been in sports agony pretty much ever since:

cowboys - no playoff wins since 1996. didn't actually realize the extent of the cowboys suckyness until i sat down to think about it. we lost to the cardinals in the playoffs in 1998...the fucking cardinals. three straight 5-11 years under dave campo. at one point, we actually thought it might be a good idea to turn the team over to ryan leaf. wait, what?

rangers - no playoff appearances since 1999. only 3 trips to the playoffs in team history. each playoff team consisted of a high powered offense paired with a couple decent starters and what at the time seemed to me like the worst constructed bullpen in all of baseball (think danny patterson, julio santana, matt whiteside), teams which would eventually be spanked in the playoffs by those damn yanks. the only playoff win in ranger history is owned by john burkett. ranger fans, hang your heads in shame.

mavericks - over the course of my life, no hurt has hurt so deep as the mavs. i think everyone knows what happened the last two years, so no need to rehash that past. but i hated basketball for 2 months after each disappointment and i still feel sore about those series (for different reasons, however: one team deserved to beat us but certainly not the other. guess who!?!?). and for the record, i still stand behind the dunking deutschman. he will take us to the promised land, that much i will guarantee.

stars - our last shinning moment in dallas sports. we somehow kept ed belfour sober enough to string together a bunch of wins on our way to lord stanley's cup. but now, no one cares anymore, not like they used to. not for at least another year or two. but mikey mo is still the man. bagged himself quite a woman.

and the last trophy brought back to dallas?

not exactly the trophy i had in mind, but nice job emmitt. on a side note, if cuban wins this year, can dallas claim to have the best dancing celebs in the nation?

save for livin the dream with me and sam's eternal man-crush, the exalted vince young, in 2005 (still gives me goosebumps), sports fandom has not treated me well.

dallas-area teams, this is your rallying call. year after year, i brim with anticipation, only to be let down one way or another. i think i speak for all of us when we say, we want to win. we want to dominate. let's finally make it happen.

however, on the brighter side, i would be lying if i said i wasn't excited about the next two to four years. i wont make any predictions now, but i'm certain good things are coming our way.

i had to throw this one in for good measure. enjoy our blog.

oh and feel free to comment!



Today, we're going to play thug or not!

Anyone who has been following Longhorn football knows that the University of Texas, has really become the University of Thugz. It's sad really, because Mack Brown tries so hard to recruit players that don't have any sort of character issues. For once, the blame cannot be placed on Greg Davis or any coach.

Listed below are the thug candidates for today:

Henry Melton, Junior, RB (what a joke!), DE

I liked Henry Melton. I think we all did a couple years back when he was used as the short yardage situation back. Then he began underachieving and hanging out around Jester dormitory picking up skanky girls with frat guys. Melton was arrested for a DWI. That's it. BFD.

Not a Thug

Robert Joseph, Sophomore, Safety

Apparently, Robert or Joseph, don't know which to call him, thought that robbing a mother and her daughter would be cool. RJ was a highly touted recruit and was probably going to help shore up the secondary by starting over Erick Jackson. Idiot.


James Henry, Freshman, Safety

Henry was arrested on Monday. From the AAS, "Police say that Joseph called Henry the next day from jail, and their conversation was recorded. In that call, police say, Henry told Joseph that he’d gone to the scene of the robbery and confronted witnesses. 'I went over there and whooped all them niggas last night, fool,' Henry is quoted as saying in the recording, according to the arrest affidavit."

Are you serious? Thug

Tyrell Gatewood, Senior, Safety, Special Teams

Gatewood started thugging last year when the police caught him, Tarrel Brown, and Aaron Harris with a gun and some weed. I thought, it must have been all Harris. Gatewood was just at the wrong place at the wrong time until last week, when Gatewood got arrested and charged with two counts of drug possession. Freshman star recruit Ben Wells was also with him. I never really liked Gatewood, and he messed up twice.
He's gotta be a THUG!

1st anniversary of Longhorn Eagles Rivalry

As far as I'm convinced, Texas and Boston College have never really been rivals until today. In this showdown we will see which school is better (yes, I will take into account the academic standing of each football team).


All-time series between the two schools: Texas 2 Boston College 1
Number of Heisman winners: Texas 2 Boston College 1
Number of National Championships: Texas 4 Boston College 0
All time victories: Texas 810 Boston College 577
Bowl Appearances: Texas 46 Boston College 19
Bowl Victories: Texas 23 Boston College 13
Stadium Seating Capacity: Texas (Darrell K.) 85,123 Boston College (Alumni Stadium) 44500
Academic Progress Rate (APR) score: Texas 944 Boston College 982
Conference All-Academic Selections: Texas 24 Boston College 7
Graduation Rate: Texas 55% Boston College 96%

Texas wins (8-2)

Sorry, Jason.


Go tell'em.

Now for the Longhorn defense

In comparison to the offense, there isn't that much to gripe about on defense. A couple things:

1. First off, there is a drop off in talent in defense. Aside from the D-line, which is playing like one of the best in the nation, there is some serious gaps in the depth chart in the linebackers and secondary.

2. Duane Akina is a proven man (see Quentin Jammer, Nathan Vasher, Michael Huff, Cedric Griffin, Tarrel "Thug" Brown, Michael Griffin, and Aaron Ross). He is doing the best he can with the scrubs he has right now on the secondary.

3. There is minimal talent in the STARTING linebacker corp right now.

4. The defense cannot be held completely accountable for the 19.3 points (38th in the nation) allowed per game. Many of the points scored were from the 5 interceptions thrown by Colt, which led to TDs and great field position for the other team.

With all that being said here is What We Don't Like:

1. Starting Linebackers. There is a fatal problem with our starting LBs. I say fatal because they are basically fucking everything up.

Robert Killebrew sucks. The ONLY reason why I can see him starting right now is his "seniority." I suppose Larry Macduff and Akina, think his past experience might be able to help the defense. His tackling and coverage ability, or lack thereof, are significant liabilities in our defense. He always seems lost on the field. He misses his tackles, is unable to break past an O-line for a blitz, and never covers his man, who is usually a TE or slot receiver. Oh yeah! Before I forget, Killebrew loves the late hits and personal fouls. What the hell. That needs to stop.

I don't know why Rashad Bobino was ever moved from will to mike. He kicked ass in 2005 when he and Drew Kelson took turns taking snaps at the weakside LB. 'Shad is listed as 5-11, 228 LBs, not exactly MLB material (except for Dat Nguyen). This is most noticeable on the when he blitzes and gets torn apart by the opposing team's O-line. He is too small to cover a TE over the middle, and he can't shed a block. This might be a coaching issue. Honestly, 'Shad should move to the weakside. That's that.

Now for the only member on the team with a mullet, Scott Derry. I don't even know what to say. His lack of athleticism really stands out every game. He's a consistent player, he doesn't blow coverage assignment, and he's a sure tackler, but he really can't keep up with the game especially when we play against teams like OU.

2. Secondary. Last season when our defense was completely torched by the passing game, everyone immediately blamed the secondary. Okay, let's see who started... Aaron Ross, Michael Griffin, and Tarrel Brown. That's a pretty sick secondary ladies and gents. Save the halfback pass, the large amount of yards passing yards was due to the fact that the secondary had to play mop up duty for the lack of pass rush and retarded linebacker play. When we gave up the mad yards to Baylor and Texas Tech, most of the yards came short slants, crossing routes, and hooks from the slot receivers who were covered by the linebackers.

With that being said, this season, it's the same old problem. Yes, we don't have NFL caliber talent in our secondary anymore, but it's the same problem that starts with the linebackers.

I really like Drew Kelson. I don't know why he just disappeared last year.

3. Coaching. I want to see different players. I want to see a different depth chart. Where's Muckleroy, Norton, Kelson, Beasley, and Chykie Brown? Give these players a chance to complete. They have more to prove, and they've got talent.

We need a different type of blitz. Stacking either Killebrew or Bobino or even both and having them fire between gaps isn't working. Also, every time the linebacker stack the line, they blitz. What ever happened to faking the blitz? It's border line Greg Davis stuff.

But there have been suspensions and arrests to account for. Robert Joseph was probably going to challenge Erick Jackson for one of the safety positions, and Sergio Kindle has been suspended. The Rice game should be a show case for young talent.

If I was Mack, here's my depth chart for the Rice game*:

D-line: the same, there isn't a problem here.
WLB: Roddrick Muckleroy
MLB: Jared Norton
SLB: Sergio Kindle
CB: Deon Beasley
CB: Curtis Brown or Ben Wells (unless Wells is red shirting, why the hell not?)
FS: Marcus Griffin
SS: Drew Kelson

*Depth chart has already been posted, I know.

The irony.


The Sox are now 2 and a half back, and I don't know about the rest of Sox Nation, but I'm sweating in my 2007 59/50 right now. Ironic point 1: Eric Gagne (pictured above) was traded to the Sox from the Rangers, my "home town" team. Damn, that sucks because GAGNE LOST THE GAME. Ironic point 2: My second favorite team in baseball, the Blue Jays, just put my favorite team 2 and a half from another season of possibly finishing 2nd to the Yanks in that damned AL East! Again! That would suck!

Design notes: I went for minimalism, no surprise, since I'm relearning CSS at this point. Unless you're completely devoid of pop culture/fashion knowledge/eyes you'll probably notice that the background takes serious hints from the famed LV print, with my own twist.


Starting pitcher for the Red Sox, Daisuke Matsuzaka