So Sam asked me if I could recommend him a nice watch. I don't know anything about watches besides G-Shocks and the Jacob. But I should have known Ed Hardy would provide everything Sam needs and more. Much more. They are already the purveyors of fashion-forward clothing fashions for all the fashion loving rock and rollers across the country.

Here are the best ones I found:
As you can see, this one has an eagle in it. Not many things are cooler than an eagle. The eagle is all that is American. And so is Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy IS America.

Also, please note the super hip and fashionable leather bracelet. It's like two in one. Can you just imagine: you're at the bar looking fly (like an eagle) ordering your brew of choice: Michelob Light (gotta watch the carbs, bro) and as you reach out to pay, a hot slut with tits gushes "OMG NICE BRACELET!!!"

To which, you say, "IMPRESSED BITCH?! prepared to change your panties, sweetheart, cause THIS IS A WATCH TOO!!! AN ED HARDY WATCH!!! WITH AN EAGLE ON IT!!!"

Slut with tits predictably starts to orgasm and collapses in a puddle of sweat and ecstasy. Another bitch slayed. Thanks Ed Hardy.

Option Two:
I also think this one is a viable option because Sam is Chinese. That tiger looks pretty Chinese to me. The brohams love the chinese bitches, whether theyre japanese or just asian. Cause their pussies are sideways. Just like their eyes. DUH. Also because their low self esteem causes them to seek self-worth only found in the white ALPHA DAWG.

This watch will help Sam fit in with the brohams at work a little better. It's more conventional as it is not fashion-forward enough to be considered something besides a watch like the super fashion-forward eagle bracelet/watch above.

Stealth wealth. The brohams at work generally don't like no chinaman stealing their thunder. Stay in your place!!!

Please notice that this beautiful timepiece is called Kool Steel. What is kooler than spelling kool with a 'k'? Nothing. Not even the eagle above. This is in fact beyond kool. It is a bonafide klassic.

I hope my recommendations help you, Sam. If Ed Hardy doesn't make it, it's not worth buying. That's my motto when it comes to fashion, fun and life in general.

Life is hard without the Hardy.

The customers don't lie! Ed Hardy 4 Lyfe!!!

Great product even with a horrible fit! Who else but Ed?

Remember: Life is hard with the Hardy


Justin said...

ed hardy is the best!

Anonymous said...

I love Ed Hardy's designs and products too! They're so hip and cool. Glad to meet another Ed Hardy lover!

Sam said...

Brohams suck. Always giving me high fives n' shit at work. They like to talk about how they'd love to, "stick it in her."